父母不喜欢我的朋友怎么办?_男朋友不喜欢我的朋友
时间：2020-02-23 07:16:42 来源：雅意学习网 本文已影响 人 
"If I knew my parents were going to treat my new friend Jen so badly, I never, ever would have brought her home," says Jackie, 15. "The minute they saw Jen"s eyebrow―she just got it pierced―they were rude to her. You could tell Jen felt uncomfortable."
Asia, 14, says her parents dislike her pal Kim because she giggles a lot. But that"s precisely what Asia loves about her friend: "Unlike my super-serious family, Kim isn"t afraid to burst out laughing1)."
“早知道我爸妈对我的新朋友珍这么不好，我绝对不会把她带到家里，”15岁的雅姬说，“他们一看到珍的眉毛――她只不过是在眉毛上穿了环而已――他们对她的态度立马就变差了。可以看得出，珍觉得很不自在。”
14岁的阿西亚说，她父母不喜欢她的好朋友金，因为她老是咯咯地傻笑，但这却正是阿西亚喜欢她这位朋友的地方：“金不像我的家人，他们超级严肃。而她却可以无所顾忌地开怀大笑。”
The fact is, your parents aren"t going to like all of your friends equally. There will be times when your parents detect a bad-seed bud―like the girl who habitually cuts school2). She could easily bring you down with her, and you can hardly blame your parents for being concerned. That"s their job! But if your parents balk at3) a perfectly appropriate pal, you need to sort it out4) as soon as possible. Here"s how.
你父母不可能对你所有的朋友一样好，这是事实。有时候父母觉察出一些小孩是坏苗子――像那个经常逃学的女孩。她很容易带坏你，所以你不能怪父母操心太多，因为那是他们的责任！但如果父母不愿接纳与你脾性相投的朋友，你就得尽快找找解决办法了。这里有一些方法。
Talk About It
As shocking as this probably seems, your parents might be totally unaware of how rudely they treat your friend. So tell them, calmly and clearly. Try something like, "I"ve noticed you give Jen the silent treatment when she comes over. It embarrasses me." Or, "When Kim and I laugh loudly, you seem to get mad. I"m not sure why. We"re just having a good time together."
Ask Questions
Ask your parents exactly what bothers them about your good bud. Their explanation alone won"t solve matters, but sorting out their feelings could be the first step to changing how they treat her. Your parents might serve up5) a reason for their dislike: "Jen is too young to have piercings," or, "Kim thinks everything"s a joke." But let it be duly6) noted that your parents could feel put on the spot7) and come up with no explanation whatsoever.
Stay You
Is Jen really the problem, or do your parents worry you"ll be the next customer of the piercing parlor8)? The folks could be afraid that if you hang around with someone who is loud/giggly/pierced/whatever, you"ll become that way too. So assure them that you don"t want to become a clone9) of your pal―you just like hanging out with her. Try, "Piercings are not my thing, but Jen"s look isn"t what I like about her. It"s that she"s someone I can depend on."
What to Expect?
Your parents might not be able to change how they feel about your friend, but they can change how they behave toward her. Again, assuming your friend is not disrespectful or downright10) bad, you have the right to ask your parents to change their attitude toward her when she"s around. Be specific about what you want: "I totally get that you don"t like her, but can you at least be polite?"
Do Your Part
Once your parents agree to revert to good manners toward your girl, think of some things you can do differently. If the parents completely cringe11) whenever giggle girl comes over, maybe you can ask your bud to tone it down a bit. Blame it on your folks: "I know this sounds screwy12), but my parents like peace and quiet. We"ve got to keep the laugh-out-loud volume on low today, OK?" If your friend gets defensive, just drop it. We"re certainly not suggesting a personality overhaul13). But if you temporarily eliminate the trait your parents dislike, they might notice her other qualities ... and maybe even warm up to her.
把事情挑明
你可能会难以置信，但你父母也许根本没意识到他们对你朋友有多粗鲁。所以不妨冷静地、清楚地告诉他们，比如说：“我发现珍来的时候你们对她很冷淡，这让我很尴尬。”或者“当金和我大笑的时候，你们好像很生气。我不知道是为什么。我们只是在一起很开心而已。”
提出问题
问问你的父母，他们对你的好友具体有哪些不满的地方。当然，光有他们的解释并不能解决问题，但弄懂他们的想法是让他们改变态度的第一步。你的父母可能会说出他们不喜欢的原因：“珍年纪轻轻就穿环了”或者“金把什么事都当玩笑”。但也要适当注意一下，你父母可能会对你的当场提问感到尴尬，无论如何都不说原因。
保持自我
是珍真的有问题，还是你父母担心你也会去穿环？家长可能担心如果你跟那些说话大声、笑个不停、穿环或其他什么的人待久了，你也会变成那样。所以你要让他们相信你并不想成为你朋友的翻版，你只是喜欢跟她一起玩。不妨说：“我不喜欢穿环，我并不是因为珍的外表而喜欢她，而是因为她是我可以信赖的人。”
期待什么？
父母可能无法改变对你朋友的印象，但他们可以改变对她的态度。而且，如果你的朋友并不失礼，也不是彻头彻尾的坏人，你有权要求你的父母在朋友在场时改变态度。明确地说出你的想法：“我完全明白你们不喜欢她，但是你们能不能至少礼貌待人？”
做分内之事
一旦父母同意改变对你好友的态度，思考一下哪些地方你可以改变。如果你那个爱笑的朋友每次来你父母都彻底回避，也许可以让你的朋友小声点。把原因推到你的家人身上：“我知道这听起来很怪，但我的父母喜欢安静。今天我们得把大笑的音量调小一些，好吗？”如果你的朋友感到被冒犯了，那就不要说了。我们绝不是在建议你的朋友彻底转变个性，但是，如果你能暂时消除朋友身上不被父母喜欢的一些地方，他们可能就会注意到她的其他品质……或许甚至对她热情起来。
1. burst out doing sth.: 突然(大笑或大哭)
2. cut school: (无理由地)逃学
3. balk at: 反对，抵触；避开。balk [bɔːk] vi. 犹豫；回避
4. sort out: 解决，弄清楚
5. serve up: 端出，提供(事实等)
6. duly [ˈdjuːli] adv. 适当地；恰当地
7. put on the spot: (逼迫某人当场做出艰难的决定或回答尴尬问题)使某人难堪
8. parlor [ˈp�ːlə(r)] n. (接待顾客的)店室
9. clone [kləʊn] n. 翻版，(几乎)一模一样的人
10. downright [ˈdaʊnraɪt] adv. 彻底地；完全地
11. cringe [krɪndʒ] vi. 避开(令人不快或害怕的人或事物)
12. screwy [ˈskruːi] adj. 古怪的；怪诞的
13. overhaul [ˈəʊvəhɔːl] n. 彻底革新(或改革)
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