析错品文,有效提高学生的英语写作水平_英语写作素材
时间：2019-05-13 03:30:19 来源：雅意学习网 本文已影响 人 
众所周知，英语写作在高考中占有相当大的比重，而现实是许多学生在作文中的低级错误依然遍地开花，惨不忍睹，触目惊心。后果自然是丢分甚多，以致影响最后总分，因此提高学生写作能力势在必行。提高写作的方法有许多，但本人作为一名一线教师，根据自己平时的教学经验，认为通过分析错误和欣赏美文，能有效提高学生的英语写作水平。
月考作文：以校学生会的名义晚上校园拒绝零食为主题写给全校学生的一封倡议书。要有以下内容：
1.目前学校里吃零食现象很严重，有些同学每天花很多钱买零食吃2.吃零食是一种不好的习惯3.大多数零食为非健康食品，容易使人发胖，甚至生病4.还有同学乱扔包装袋，破坏校园环境。5.作为高中生，应当养成良好的饮食习惯，拒绝零食6.你自己的一个观点。词数一百左右。
学生作文存在问题
1. 卷面不洁，字迹潦草，令人生厌
2. 错误百出，尤其是：A.结构错（大错）；B.语法错；C. 单词和词组错；D. 时态错；E. 人称前后不一致；F.语言单调，表达晦涩, 像挤牙膏。
1.单词错误：拼写错误（第一个是正确的）destroy/destroy；destroyed/destroyed； habit/habbit/hobby；environment/environment；modern/modern；eating/eatting/Eeating；opinion/oppinion
用词错误：phenomenon（单数）/phenomena（复数）；snack（零食）/snake（蛇）；serious（严肃、严重、认真）/Strict（严格）；fit(健康、适合)/fat（胖、脂肪）
2.词组错误sb spend... on sth/ spend...(in) doing sth/ sth cost money/ sb pay money for sth；throw ...away/ drop sth/ litter ；everywhere/ here and there
3.句子错误：由用字用词不当造成的一些基础错误
1).the phenomenon of eat snack in school is very badly.
2).Some students spend much money to buy snack every day.
3).as a high school students
4).It can make you to be fater.
5).Some students put the wrapping into floor.
6). It breaks the environment of school.
7). We should keep a good balanced diet and not to eat snacks.
8). Some students cost much money on snacks.
9). It is easy to make people fit, even if/though sickness.
10). Snack is bad for our healthy....
比较严重的但是稍改一下能变成美句复杂句的结构错误
12). But there are many students eat snack at school in present
可改为: But there are many students eating...或者...who are eating...at present.
13). There is a phenomenon that eating snacks in school.
可改为: There is a phenomenon of eating...或者...a phenomenon that many students eat...
14).School is the place that we can study.
可改为: School is the place where/in which we can study. 或者... place for us to study at/in.
15). Only we don""t eat snack are we healthy and happy.
可改为: Only when we don""t eat snacks can we be healthy...
16). We can save money what be used to buy snack to buy something in need or give it to people who need it.
可改为: We can save money that is used to ...
17). A lot of students pick up wrapping everywhere, make the school environment bad.
可改为: A lot of students throw..., making...
4.美文欣赏
Dear fellow students,
School is where we prepare ourselves for our study and future life. So it""s necessary that we (develop good habits) in our life and study. But a serious phenomenon has (come into our notice) in our school--- (rather than) have their (regular meals), some students are spending too much money on snacks. Eating snacks is not a good habit. (For one thing), most snacks contain too much fat and sugar and (are regarded as) unhealthy food. Besides, eating too much of them may (lead to) fatness and even illness. (What""s worse), some students throw the wrapping everywhere. (In this way), it may not only (affect) our health but also destroy our environment.
Therefore, to help make our school a clean place to stay at and (show concern for) our own health, let""s form good eating habits and (say no to ) snacks!
佳句：1.School is where we... 定语从句2. So it""s necessary that+从句（用should的虚拟语气）
3.doing 做主语，比如eating snacks is ...和 eating too much of them may lead to...
4. it may not only...but also... 4. For one thing,...Besides...5.插入What""s worse/ In this way/ Therefore, to help...避免文章语言呆板生硬，使上下文更加通顺连贯。
随堂建议：
1. 尽量避免错误，尤其是句子结构错误、时态错误、人称错误。
2. 要点的表达要多动脑经，不能几个要点一起处理，要挖掘内在的逻辑关系，尽量用好词好句。
3. 平时要多背多练多积累，注重语言表达的自然地道。
