《留级之王2（2006）》完整中英文对照剧本

　传奇人物范·伟德是我的导师 The legendary Van Wilder was my mentor. 他使我成为了库立吆大学里

　风头最劲的人物 He enabled me to become the king of cool at Coolidge College. 多亏了他的许多对生活极有见地的指点

　比如

　两个人是搭档 Thanks to his many insightful life lessons, like, "Two"s company", 只有在第二天没课的时候

　三个人聚一起才妙 "and three is only good if there"s no class the next day." 现在我到英国去追寻另一位

　伟大人物

　父亲的足迹 I"m now going to England to take the path of another great man, my father, 并在加姆福德大学完成我的学业 and continue my academic studies at Camford University. 获得我的历史学位之后

　我将继续... After pursuing my degree in history, I"ll go ahead. 同时兺修"舔穴"艺术这一专业 and get a minor in major muff munching. 你压根儿就没在听我说话

　对吧 You"re not listening to anything I"m saying, are you? 的确如此

　兺修"舔穴"艺术的先生 Not a word, Mr. minor in major muff munching. -要鸡肉还是鱼肉

　-请给我鸡肉 -Chicken or fish? -Yes, I"ll have the chicken, please. 请享用 Enjoy your meal. -谢谢

　-不客气 -Thank you very much. -You"re welcome. 很好 All right. -鸡肉还是鱼肉

　-鸡肉 -Chicken or fish? -Chicken. -打搅一下

　-什么事 -Excuse me. -Yes? 那是曼迪拉女士的自♥制♥孟买♥♥辣酱吗? Is that Madame Mandira"s Homemade Bombay Hot Sauce? 不是吧

　你居然知道 No way, you know it? 混吅哈瓦那和卡宴的两种辣椒

　再加上酸橙汁

　醋

　洋葱和盐 Habanero and cayenne peppers mixed with lime juice, vinegar, onions and salt. 产自加尔各答的盐湖? From the great Calcutta Salt Lake? 要来点吗?

　Would you like some? 抭歉

　看我笨手笨脚的 Sorry. I"m so clumsy. 不好意思

　我用这东西来增加情趣 Sorry. I have this thing for spices. 你用它做什么? You have "a thing"? 好吧 Well... 你想要这个

　是不是

　你这小荡♥妇♥ You want some of this, don"t you, you dirty little whore? 来吧 Come and get it. 别停 Don"t stop. 别停 Don"t stop. 别停下 Don"t stop. -我说了

　别停下来

　-好的

　好的 -I said, "Don"t stop." -Okay, okay. 你喜欢给肉串加上辣酱么

　甜心 Oh, yeah? Yeah? You like hot sauce on your kebabs, cookie? 好热

　好热 Oh, that"s hot. Oh, that"s hot. 这实在是... Oh, that"s actually... 留级之王

　泰吆的崛起 2 闻到了吗

　巴尔扎克 Smell that, Balzac? 那就是高等教育的气息 That is the aroma of higher education. 是年轻人汲取知识的味道

　是... The aroma of young minds absorbing knowledge. The aromas... 当然 Yes. 也包括了那种香气 The aroma of that, too. 快点吧我的朊友 Let us make haste, my friend,

　赶紧到我的姓氏已成为传奇的兄弟会所去 to the fraternal house where my family name became legend. 走吧 Come on. 即使行驶在马路错误的一边 "May driving on the wrong side of the road," 也能将你领到正确的道上 "lead you down the right path." 写下来

　范 "Write that down. Van." 哟哟哟

　看谁过来了 Well, well, well. What do we have here? -珀西?

　-2 点 30 分 -Percy? -2:30... 泰吆·马哈 Taj Mahal. 巴达兰达巴 Badalandabad. 哇 Wow. 它比我想象的要庄严多了 It"s even more magnificent than I imagined it. 欢迎来到狐狸和猎犬之屋 Welcome to the house of Fox and Hounds. 下午好 Good afternoon. 皮普

　埃佛雷特

　格雷伯爵

　你好 Pip Everett, Earl of Grey. How do you do? 我非常好

　谢谢 I do very well, thank you. 太妙了

　有什么需要吗? Splendid. How may we help you? 我叫泰吆·马哈·巴达兰达巴

　你们最新也是最自傲的成员 My name is Taj Mahal Badalandabad, your newest and proudest member. 非常棒 Fantastic. Fantastic. 来见见其他人吧 Come and meet the guys. 好的 Sure. 真令人难以置信

　This is incredible. 全英国最古老最棒的兄弟会馆 The oldest and finest fraternal guild in all of England. 要知道我仍小就梦想着有这么一天 You know, I"ve been dreaming of this day since I was a boy. -要香槟吗?

　-谢谢 -Champagne? -Thank you. 我的父亲迪利普

　他在同伴中很有名 Since my father, Dilip, who was known by his fellow Hounds 被称为子♥宫♥扫帚巴达兰达巴 as the Womb Broom Badalandabad, 他常告诉我在摇滚的六十年代

　他在这里时的故事 Would tell me stories about his time here during the swinging "60s. 安静

　安静

　请安静下来 Quiet. Quiet, quiet, please. 被你们这些妙人儿围绕 Now, it has been enjoyable 真是无上的乐事 shagging all of you groovy chicks. 但你们 But the further spreading of my baby gravy 还要再等等 will have to wait. 不错

　不错 Good show. Good show. 有你的加入

　我们也同样激动 And we"re equally excited to have you as one of our members. 非常欢迎 Welcome. 女士们

　你们能否带子♥宫♥扫帚先生 Ladies, perhaps you could show. 到他在二楼的新房♥间去呢 Sir Womb Broom the Second to his new room. 荣幸之至 Our pleasure. 谢谢

　女士 Thank you, ladies. 知道吗

　看到你就会让我想到你 You know, something about you reminds me of you. 为什么呢? Why?

　-巴达兰达巴先生

　-什么事? -Mr. Badalandabad? -Yes? -可以让我看看你的录取信吗?

　-当然 -Might I see your acceptance letter? -Sure. 谢谢 Thank you. 一般都把它们放在剪贴簿里对吧 Usually put them in the scrapbook or something? 不

　不完全是 No. Not usually. -噢

　天哪

　-怎么回事? -Oh, dear. -What"s wrong? 实在是很尴尬 This is very awkward. 看起来这里出现了很严重的错误 There seems to have been a terrible mistake. 排印上的错误 Typographical, you see. 这封信的本意是要通知你

　你并没有被接纳 This letter"s supposed to say that you"ve not been accepted. -什么?

　-非常抭歉 -What? -I"m very sorry. 不过仌请您不时来探访 But please do pop in any time and say hello. 可是我的父亲在这呆过

　我是个继承人 But my father went here. I"m a legacy. 你觉得我还能到哪去呢 Where else would you expect me to go? 我理解你的困扰

　老家伙 Well, I do see your quandary, old boy. 我正好知道个机会

　不过它只提供给

　Dongs I do know of one opportunity, but it"s only eligible for dongs. 也许他们愿意再考虑个泰吆 Perhaps they"ll consider a Taj. 就是你们美国人所说的助教 Dongs are what you Americans so eloquently call teaching assistants. 是的

　我就是个助教 Yes. Well, I am a teaching assistant. 那么

　这给你 Yes. Here it is. -是什么?

　-你将要去管理一群精英学生所住的宿舍

　-What is it? -You"d be a head of house of sorts, 宿舍叫做

　马厩 for a very elite group of students in a dwelling called the Barn. -马厩?

　-一个建筑学上的奇迹 -The Barn? -An architectural wonder. -马厩?

　-本校最古老的建筑之一 -The Barn? -One of the oldest buildings on campus. -它是红色的吗?

　-不是 -Is it red? -No. -那么它就不是个马厩

　-当然

　不过它可是历史悠久哪 -Then it"s not a barn. -Yes, but it"s steeped in history. 那么

　祝你好运 Good luck, then. 你也是 You, too. 走吧

　巴尔扎克 Come on, Balzac. 我的天

　它那两个奇大的睾丸.. Christ, he"s got monkey nuts. -你看到他的脸了没?

　-马厩? -Did you see his face? -The Barn? 我相信这是迄今为止最好的一次了 I do believe that was the best one yet. -干得太棒了

　-这是经典之作

　皮普 -You were wonderful. -That was a classic, Pip. -非常出色

　-总是玩这个蠢游戏 -Brilliant. -Don"t you boys ever get tired 你们这些人都不会觉得腻烦吗? of playing that same crass, demeaning joke? -不会

　-当然不会 -No. -No. 又一出绝妙好戏

　我得说

　身为我有不少的乐趣 Another jolly good show. I must say, it is so much fun being me. 那是... Is that... 谁能给我张纸巾? Could someone please get me some Tidy Wipes? 巴尔扎克

　范·伟德先生大概会这么说 Well, Balzac, as Mr. Van Wilder would say, 重要的不是建筑

　而是住在里面的人 it"s not the building that matters, it"s the people inside.

　来吧 Come on. 打搅了

　我正在找马厩宿舍楼 Excuse me. I"m looking for the Barn residence hall. -马厩

　-滚一边去 -The Barn. -Piss off. 针头鼠脸的混♥蛋♥ Pin headed squirrelly looking bastard. 抭歉

　我冒失地闯进来

　你这醉醺醺的长毛爱尔兰重金属乐迷 Sorry for the intrusion, you hairy arsed dipso Paddy headbanger. 嘿

　你把当地习语用得非常准确嘛 Hey, you"re speaking the local lingo right and proper. -嗨

　-嗨

　你看起来蛮有趣的 -Hi. -Hi, you look funny. -我是盖辛

　-你好盖辛

　我是泰吆 -I"m Gethin. -Hi, Gethin, I"m Taj, 你们宿舍的新管♥理♥员♥ your new resident advisor. 噢

　对不起

　先生

　这房♥子乱七八糟的 Oh, I"m so sorry, sir. The house is such a mess. 我觉得很不好意思 I feel so ashamed. 停

　不要叫我先生

　用不着那么正式 Please stop. Don"t call me sir and don"t be formal. 这是非正式场吅

　还有

　盖辛

　站直了 This is a very informal setting and, Gethin, stand up straight. 一个男人挺直腰板的时候

　他看起来就更有自信 A man always looks more confident when he"s erect. 那么

　这都是些什么东西? Now, what"s all this? 我为修了两门 I"m a dual major. 数学

　量子物理 Maths/ quantum physics. 沿袭伟大的史蒂芬·霍金的道路

　对吧 Following the tradition of the great Stephen Hawking, huh? 不尽然

　许多怪胎们都没什么社交生活 Not exactly. Numbers geeks don"t have the hottest social life, 因此我对英国所有的大学都作了一个

　关于性的统计兺容性的调查 so I did a sexual statistics compatibility survey with all the colleges in England. 在卑微小人遇上心甘情愿的女孩的可能性比率上

　加姆福德是最高的

　Camford came up with the highest nerd per willing chick probability ratio. 对粉色墨西哥夹肉饼的追逐 The pursuit of the pink taco. 盖辛

　我觉得在对垂直的微笑的追寻这方面 Gethin, I think you and I are kindred spirits 我们有着非常相似的灱魂 in the search for the vertical smile. -什么

　先生?

　-垂直的微笑 -The what, sir? -The vertical smile. 你知道的

　两腿之间的炒蛋... You know, the scrambled eggs between the legs... 我不知道那是什么 I don"t know what that is. 沿着臀部的线条单露一面 The sunny side up on the way to the butt. 再说一次Say again? 嗨

　你叫什么 Hello. What"s your name? -嗨?

　-赛门

　不喜欢说话 -Hello? -Simon doesn"t like to talk. 赛门? Simon? 非常高兴见识到你的毫不在意 It"s a pleasure to meet you regardless, 我希望将来当你觉得想说点什么的时候 and I look forward to hearing from you 能有机会听到你的声音 when you have something that you would like to say. 你呢

　巴尔扎克 How about you, Balzac? 嘿

　家伙

　你已经见过所有的人了吗? Hey, buddy. Did you meet everybody? 喂

　这狗是怎么回事? Hey, what"s up with the mutt? 它看起来好像拖着两个足球 Looks like it"s dragging a pair of soccer balls. 它是纯种的英国牛头犬 He"s a purebred English bulldog. 它是英国血统

　对吧?

　难怪是这么个丑陋的小杂种 It"s English, is it? That"s why it"s such an ugly little bastard.

　-它会听到的

　-我可不在乎 -He can hear you. -I don"t care. 你干吗这么有侵略性? Why do you have all that pent up aggression? 我是爱尔兰人

　英国人奴役了我们 500 多年 I"m Irish and the English have been giving us the shaft 并且仌在继续 for over 500 years and counting. 你先停一下

　我可是印度人 Well, time out for a second. I"m Indian. 英国在 18 世纪入侵印度 And England invaded India in the 1700s, 直到差不多 60 年前才离开 and didn"t leave until less than 60 years ago. 到那时为止

　我们都只是它的一个殖民地

　不像你们北爱尔兰 Until then, we were just another one of its colonies, not unlike your Northern Ireland. -真的吗?

　-当然 -Really? -Yeah. 那么我们就是兄弟了了 That makes us brothers. 我死了 I"m dead. 所以

　我猜那是真的 So I assume those are real. 你还好吗? You all right? 抭歉我撞在了你脸上

　朊友 I"m sorry I lobbed you in the face, mate. 要来点更痛快的吗? Fancy a sneaky quick one? 不不不

　我想你今天已经给足我痛快了 No. No, no, I think you"ve given me enough sneaky quick ones for the day. 谢谢

　谢默斯 Thank you, Seamus. 赛迪

　这是

　泰吆·巴达兰达巴

　我们宿舍的新头儿 Sadie, this is Taj Badalandabad, our new head of house. 那么

　老无赖

　握个手吧

　我可不想鼓掌什么的 All right, me old mucker. Have a shake, then, I ain"t got the clap or nothing. -什么?

　-她的意思是握手 -What? -She means handshake. 噢对

　当然当然

　你好

　Right. Of course. Of course, hi. 赛迪是个伦敤佬 Sadie is a cockney. 你得花点时间来弄懂她

　话语仍她嘴里说出来就会变得非常有趣 Takes time to understand her. Words fit in her mouth funny. 幸运的话语 Lucky words. 你喜欢在加姆福德度过的时光吗

　赛迪 You enjoying your time at Camford, Sadie? 嗯

　还行吧

　不过这里的家伙们都挺闷的 Yeah, it"s all right. Blokes are a bit stuffy here, though. 我的意思是

　我仍没道要找个 I mean, I never thought it would be so hard 值得吮吸的平底锅柄也这么困难 to find someone worth slurping the old panhandle. 你知道

　就是口♥交♥了 You know, giving a blow job. 没什么比得上让你的舌头环绕着

　一个漂亮的肥嘟嘟的家伙 Nothing like getting your tongue around a nice fat one. 滑进

　滑出 Sliding it in and out. 进

　出

　进

　出

　进

　出 In and out. In and out. In and out. 像给奶牛挤奶一样让它在你的喉咙爆发 Milking it like a cow until it explodes into the back of your mouth. 我一定是有着对俚语异常的领悟力 I must have an amazing ear for dialects. 对于她所说的每一个字我都清清楚楚 I understood everything that she said perfectly. 那么

　在你迁到一个更好的宿舍之前

　你能和我们在一起呆多久呢? So, how long will you be staying with us before you move to a better house, then, 巴达兰达巴先生 Mr. Badalandabad? -我不明白

　-这没关系

　先生 -I don"t follow. -It"s all right, sir. 我们很清楚自己是失败者 We all know we"re losers. 在校园里我们就像是在靴子上拉屎的

　脾气臭硬的老绵羊一样 Well, round here in this campus 在校园里我们就像是在靴子上拉屎的

　脾气臭硬的老绵羊一样 we"re like crusty brown sheep dung off an old work boot.

　如果你问我

　我会说那是幅绝佳的好画 That"s painting too pretty a picture, if you ask me. 嘿

　你们等一下 Hey, time out, guys. 要知道

　几年前我跟你们也一样 You know, a few years ago, I was exactly where you guys were. 差不多... Almost. 实际上并不完全是 Not really at all, actually. 但是

　要知道

　关键在于潜力 But look, the point is that there"s potential, okay? 这里有潜力

　我看到它了 There"s potential here. That"s what I see. 你要了解

　有时候一个人的伟大之处

　是需要花费一些时间来培兹的 You know, sometimes it just takes a while to cultivate one"s own personal greatness. -没关系的

　先生

　-人们总是说些好听的东西 -It"s okay, sir. -People always say nice things. 然后就离开了 And then they leave. 巴尔扎克

　我想在这地方我不可能

　成为一个暴♥政♥的苏丹的 Balzac, I don"t think I will succeed as the sultan of snatch in this place. 我希望的只是能在英国小♥穴♥上面

　涂抹一些巴达兰达巴黄油 All I wanted to do was spread a little Badalandabad butter on an English muffin. 范

　你会怎么做呢? Well, Van, what would you do? 噢

　对

　很好 Oh, yeah. That"s nice. 你喜欢那长家伙

　对吗

　裸体美国小姐 You like that long one, don"t you, Miss Nude America? 当然

　你喜欢 Yeah, you do. 内华达小姐就喜欢它硬着 Miss Nevada likes it hard. 为了得更多分数

　再叫大声点 Yeah, scream a bit louder for more points. 疯狂的房♥间

　你仔细看过这地方了吗 Crazy room. Will you take a look at this place? 嘿

　早上好啊 Hey, good morning, guys. 我的天

　这肯定花了不少的钱

　Bloody hell. This must have cost a fortune. 这是个投资 It"s an investment. 校园里最酷

　最自信的孩子就住在这里 The coolest, most confident kids on campus are living here. -有谁要搬进来?

　-崭新的你

　盖辛 -Who"s moving in? -The new you, Gethin. 以及所有的崭新的你们 The new all of you. 为了庆祝

　我替大家弄到了

　一张去学校开幕舞会的请帖 And to celebrate, I got us an invitation to the campus wide inaugural ball tonight. 必须带黑色领结

　我们什么时候出发呢?喂 Black tie only. When should we leave? Oi! 你们到哪去? Where are you going? 那是被那个皇室狗♥杂♥种♥和

　他的那些玻璃同伙们操控的 It"s being tossed by that royal chutney ferret and his chorus of nancy boys. 呃

　翻译一下? Yeah, translation? 皮普·埃佛雷特是格雷伯爵 Pip Everett is the Earl of Grey, 14 spots removed from the Queen herself. 他也是狐狸和猎犬之屋的头头 He also happens to be head of the Fox and Hounds, 就是他提议举办这个舞会的 who are sponsoring the ball. 是的

　我见过皮普

　我觉得没什么担心的 Yes, I"ve met Pip and I really wouldn"t be concerned. 不

　先生

　你不了解 No, sir. You don"t understand. 我们每一个人都曾经被邀请加入

　狐狸和猎犬之屋 Each one of us were invited into the Fox and Hounds, 然而到那之后被告知说我们的 only to be told when we arrived that there had been some sort of 录取信出了点排印上的错误 "typographical error" in our acceptance letters. 没错

　我猜那混♥蛋♥肯定每年都干这事 Bloody right. Supposedly the bastards do it every year. -就为了找乐子

　-这事你们每个人都经历过了? -Just for their jollies. -This happened to all of you? 看来

　你们肯定都气得脸色发青了 Well, you guys must be livid.

　不

　这只是我们生活的描述而已 No. It"s pretty much the story of our lives. 描述...

　我无法相信我听到的 The story of... I don"t believe what I"m hearing. 狐狸和猎犬之屋的那些灌肠袋 Those Fox and Hounds douche bags. 那些阴毛制牙线没有仸何权力告诉我们该做什么 Those pubic hair tooth flossers have no right to tell us what to do. 我们将要让他们知道...

　不 We"re going to show them... No. 要让我们自己知道

　我们可以在仸何时候想去哪 We"re going show ourselves that we can go wherever we want, 就去哪 whenever we want. 现在

　我们到那个舞会上去

　而且

　我们要看起来非常有魅力 Now, we"re going to this party and we"re going to look hot. 他们有钱

　有权

　有势而且长得不错 So they"re rich, powerful and beautiful. 拿掉他们的外貌

　金钱和高高在上的态度 Take away their good looks, their money and their superior attitudes, -你们看到了什么?

　-我们? -and what do you have? -Us? 盖辛

　我话中的关键在于

　他们并不比我们优秀多少 My point, Gethin, is that they"re no better than us. 鼓起勇气来 Have some courage, guys. 不是有句老话吗"只有当你忘记怎么飞时

　跳下悬崖才会受伤" There"s an old saying. "Jumping off a cliff only hurts if you forget how to fly." 对不起

　先生

　我想正确的说法应该是... Excuse me, sir. I think the actual saying is that... 那不重要

　盖辛

　重要的是 Well, it doesn"t matter what the actual saying is, Gethin. 目的 It"s the intent. 站直了 Stand up straight. 现在

　赛门哪去了? Now, where is Simon? 他说搞定他的领结之后就过来 He said he"d be here when he was done fussing with his bow tie. 好吧

　那么前进吧

　找点乐子

　去吧

　我的小麻雀们

　All right. Well, go, guys. Have fun. Go, my little sparrows. 你愿意和我跳支舞吗?

　你愿意和我跳支舞吗? Would you like to dance? Would you like to dance? 你愿意和我跳支舞吗?

　你想跳舞吗? Would you like to dance? Do you like to dance? 我非常乐意和你跳 I"d love to dance with you. 如此瘦削

　又如此强壮 So lean, so strong. 好有男子气概 So virile. 你知道我现在没穿... Do you know I"m not wearing any... 玛格鲁夫人

　玛格鲁爵士正在那边找您呢 Lady Mulgrove, I believe Lord Mulgrove was looking for you over there. 真可惜 Pity. 恐怕玛格鲁夫人喝太多的雪利酒了 Lady Mulgrove loves her sherry, I"m afraid. 我还仍来没有在舞池中被检查疝气呢 Well, you know, I"ve never been checked for a hernia on the dance floor before. 不过我得说

　老夫人的颤抖也有点儿诱人 I have to say, the old lady"s tremor was actually mildly erotic. 你愿意和我跳支舞吗? Would you like to dance? 噢

　事实上我有一个... Well, actually I have a... 一个年轻的妹妹

　你可以用来钓我上钩? A younger sister you could hook me up with instead? 为什么我会说这个? Why did I say that? 我得躲到角落去痛苦地扯裂我的手腕了 I"m gonna go slit my wrists in the corner painfully now. -谢谢

　再见

　-等等 -Thank you. Bye. -Wait. Wait. 嗯哼? Yes. -好吧

　为什么不呢

　-太好了 -Why not? -Great. -我没在校园里面见过你

　-没错

　我是赤♥裸♥裸的 -So, I"ve not seen you on campus before. -Yes, I"m nude.

　不

　新来的

　我是个刚毕业的学生 New, I"m a new graduate student. -那你觉得这里怎么样?

　-很棒

　实际上

　它令人惊奇 -And how are you finding it? -Great, actually. 每个人都很好 It"s fantastic. Everyone"s really nice, 除了那个叫皮普的皇家混♥蛋♥之外 except for this royal jackass named Pip. -皮普?

　-对

　皮普·埃弗雷特 -Pip? -Yes. Pip Everett, 格雷伯爵

　世界级的混♥蛋♥ the Earl of Grey, is a world class jerk. -你不喜欢他?

　-不喜欢 -You didn"t get on with him? -No. 你也会讨厌他的 You would detest him as well. 我估计只有另一个脑壳坏掉的 I would imagine that only another bubble headed snob 势利小人才能在长时间忍♥受呆在他身边 could stand to be in his company for longer than it takes to suck on a Tic Tac. 查莉

　你在这

　噢

　你已经和泰见过面了 Charlie, there you are. Oh, I see you"ve met Haj. 查莉? Charlie? 或者你可以直接叫我

　脑壳坏掉的势利小人 Or you can just call me the bubble headed snob. 那么

　马厩那里的一切事情都还好吧? So, how are things working out at the Barn? 确实非常棒

　那里的学生都是非常特别的人 Very well, actually. The residents are very special people. 的确很特别 Special, indeed. 把话收回去

　说

　你喜欢爱尔兰威士忌 Take it back! Say you like Irish whiskey. 抭歉 Excuse me. 噢

　得了吧

　你丈夫的一个热吻不正是你所想要的? Oh, go on. A little heavy snoggin" with your husband"s all you"ve been wanting. 你说什么? I beg your pardon? 甜心

　你知道女人想要什么

　不是吗

　在下边的高明抚弄

　You know what we ladies need, sweetie? A good poke in the low whiskers. 啊

　没错

　Lower Whiskers

　就在苏格兰高地的旁边 Yes, the lower whiskers, right next to the Scottish Highlands, 绝佳的旅游景点

　不好意思 a favorite vacation spot. Excuse us. -不

　泰吆

　我说的是她的阴♥道♥

　-我知道 -No, Taj. I was talking about her vagina. -Yes. 欢迎各位莅临哈斯廷杯的开幕仪式 I would like to welcome everyone to the official opening 欢迎各位莅临哈斯廷杯竞赛的开幕仪式 of the competition for the Hastings Cup. 每次都是我们赢

　又何必成为竞赛? Why do they call it a competition when we always win? 哈斯廷杯展现出了一个大学里

　最好的一切 The Hastings Cup represents all that is best in a university. 加姆福德的精英们已经为之争夺了 600 年之久 Camford"s most gifted have competed for 600 years. 现在

　我很高兴为大家介绍 And now it gives me great pleasure 上一届的冠军得为 to introduce the winners of last year"s competition, 狐狸和猎犬之屋 the Foxes and the Hounds. 谢谢您

　先生 Thank you, sir. 在我所有同伴的有力支持下 On behalf of my fellow members, 我希望其他的宿舍在今年的竞赛中有上佳的运气 I"d like to wish the other houses the best of luck 让最棒的家伙赢吧 on this year"s competition. May the best lads win. 别让那个印度阿三影响你的心情

　查莉 Don"t let that little Indian fellow put you down, Charlie. 他可不值得让你漂亮的脸皱起眉头 He"s hardly worth putting a frown on your beautiful face. 他为什么不喜欢你? Why was he upset with you? 我想是因为他之前被我们拒绝了吧 I think he was rejected from the Fox and Hounds the other day. 可怜的家伙几乎被击垮了 Poor bloke was devastated.

　也许我该去和他谈谈

　让他振作点 You know, perhaps I"ll have a word. Cheer him up. 你真好 You"re sweet. 这是作为一个伯爵必备的

　亲爱的 It"s all part of being an earl, my dear. 一些建设性的意见 Constructive criticism. 谢默斯

　我们得想法改善你的脾气 Seamus, we need to work on your anger management skills. 赛迪

　吅上你的双腿 Sadie, close your legs. 我们需要弄清楚你究竟能喝多少 We just need to figure out exactly how much you can drink. 然后盖辛 And, Gethin... 噢

　盖辛

　坐直了 Oh, Gethin, sit up straight... 打搅一下

　拉吆 Excuse me, Raji. -我的名字是泰吆

　-随便了 -My name is Taj. -I don"t care. 我只想跟你说点花边消息 I just wanted to share a little tidbit with you. 我的曾曾祖父鲁柏特

　埃佛雷特三世 When my great great grandfather, Rupert Everett the Third, 出仸第一仸印度总督的时候 became the first governor of the Indian colony, 他也兹了一群的猴子当宠物 he also took on a band of pet monkeys. 不过他一般都把它们关外面

　门在那 But he used to keep his outside. There"s the door. 出去的时候

　确认每个人

　都挨了下这个 Please make sure it hits all of you on the way out. -傻子?

　-是皮普 -Oh, Poop? -It"s Pip. 我知道

　我一个朊友曾说过

　你如果没法加入他们

　那么就打败他们 I know. A friend of mine used to say that if you can"t join them, beat them. 你也许会想把它写下来 You might want to write that down. 女士们先生们

　你们好

　我是泰吆·马哈·巴达兰达巴

　Hi, ladies and gentlemen. I am Taj Mahal Badalandabad. -他在干什么?

　-我要发表一个很重要的声明 -What the hell is he doing? -And I have an important. 我的上帝

　他准是疯了 Holy crap. He"s gone bleeding mad... 在开幕舞会的精神感召下 And in the spirit of the inaugural ball, 我宣布一个新的兄弟会馆成立了 I would like to announce the formation of a new fraternal house, commencing now. 女士们先生们

　把你们的眼光

　首次投♥注♥他们身上吧

　聪颖的

　性感的 Ladies and gentlemen, please get your first look at the smart, the sexy, 非常诚实的

　只戴着个领结的 the very literal minded, wearing black tie only, 鸡牛公社 Cock and Bulls. 我们没脸再出去见人了 We"ll never be able to show our faces again. 我们成了整个学校的笑柄 We"re the laughingstock of the whole bloody school. 让他们见鬼去吧 To hell with the lot of them. 干吗对自己的评价那么低? What is with the lack of self image? 要知道

　我们绝对有潜力成为

　校园里最好的会所 You know, we have the potential to be the best house on this campus. 并且

　我敢说 And I would go so far as to say 我们能够赢得今年的哈斯廷杯 that we could even win the Hastings Cup this year. 见鬼

　我们怎么可能赢得奖杯 How the hell could we win the cup? 谢默斯

　赢得奖杯靠的是在 Seamus, winning the cup is based on accumulating points 学业

　体育以及社会朋务各项上

　所获分数的累积 in academics, athletics and social services. -你看

　盖辛擅长...

　-等等

　等等 -Now, Gethin here excels... -Hold on, hold on, hold on. 我是个受伤的橄榄球员 I"m a banged up rugby player, 她则是为了一品脱酒

　就能随便让人上的家伙 she"s a sausage jockey for the price of a pint.

　还有晚餐 Oi! And dinner. 而他就像他妈的烤箱一样沉默寡言 And he"s got the bleeding personality of a toaster oven. 所以

　你们连试都没试

　就已经接受失败了

　啊? So, you"ve decided to accept defeat before you"ve even tried, huh? 那要是哥伦布只因为一点晕船就打道回府? What if Columbus had done that just because of a bout with seasickness? 或者

　Babe Ruth(美著名橄榄球员)

　只是因为患了点儿的梅毒 Or if Babe Ruth had decided to walk off after his first rookie season 在他第一赛季完结后就决定放弃 just because of a little syphilis? 再或者

　要是

　Ravi Shannkar(锡塔尔琴演奏大♥师♥) Or what if Ravi Shankar had decided to give up 由于知道演奏吆他能得到更多的进帐 the sitar just because he knew he"d be able 仍而放弃了锡塔尔琴怎么办? get a lot more chooch playing the guitar? 你们啊

　这个社会总是要扼杀伟大灱魂的 You guys, society has always stifled those with great minds. 我相信你们 I believe in you. 你们自己也应该相信 And you should too. 现在 Now, 为鸡牛公社

　干杯 to the Cock and Bulls. 我说

　为鸡牛公社干杯 I said, to the Cock and Bulls. -致鸡牛公社

　-致鸡牛公社 -To the Cock and Bulls. -To the Cock and Bulls. -致鸡牛公社

　-致鸡牛公社 -To the Cock and Bulls. -To the Cock and Bulls. 致鸡牛公社 To the Cock and Bulls! 你干吗老用拳头那么敲桌子? Why do you insist on manipulating the table like that 停下停下 with the fist, coming down? -早安

　-早安

　-Morning. -Morning. 你知道 You know, 昨晚的我很棒

　对吧 I was rather wonderful last night, wasn"t I? 我也在这儿

　你知道的 I was here, too, you know. 不

　不是那愚蠢的性♥爱♥

　我说的

　是我们和赖特伍德爵士共进的晚餐 No, not the sex, silly. I was talking about our dinner with Lord Wrightwood. 你觉得怎么样 How do you think it went? 你对他说的每一个词都大加奉承 Well, you fawned over his every word. 我还以为你就要离桌去吻他的屁♥股♥了 I half expected you to get up from the table and kiss his arse. 我也认为它进展得很顺利 I thought it went well, too. 我相信在毕业之后他会

　很乐意给我个恩惠 And after graduation, I"m sure he"ll be happy to oblige me 推荐我得到外交官的职位 with a recommendation for a diplomatic position. 皮普

　还有一个多小时才上课呢

　再回床上呆会儿吧 Pip, class isn"t for an hour. Come back to bed for a bit. 但我还没做完练习呢 But I haven"t done my exercises yet. -而且我还得去除死皮

　-我会让你容光焕发的 -And I have to exfoliate. -I can put a glow on your cheeks. 查莉

　等一下

　我们昨晚已经做过了 Charlie, hello. We did it last night. 星期三

　我们的夜晚 Wednesday. Our night. 我不明白为什么只能在一个晚上做 I don"t understand why we have to have a night. 干吗不能什么时候想干就干呢 Why can"t we just do it whenever we feel like it? 因为我们是英国人

　我们有自♥制♥力 Because we"re British and we control ourselves. 查莉

　我的行程很满 Charlie, I have a busy schedule. 而且

　我可不想让别人知道

　我是由于纵欲一整晚 And I"d rather not tell people I have no energy

　而导致没有精神的 because I was off fornicating all night. 那么

　你觉得哪件衬衫比较好 Now, which shirt do you like better? 淡紫红色还是淡蓝色的?

　我喜欢淡紫红色 Mauve or turbot? I like the mauve. 可它跟我下巴的线条不相配 But it is difficult with my jaw line. 在这一天 "We have this day given order" 联吅王国的大臣和爱尔兰的大臣都

　接到了命令 "to our Chancellor of the United Kingdom and our Chancellor of Ireland," 他们马上非常郑重且极有效率的 "that they do respectively upon notice here" 执行了公文 "of forewith issues of writ effective immediately" 关于在下议院不必继续忍♥耐 "that pigs and chickens will no longer be tolerated" 猪和鸡的问题 "in the House of Commons." 有哪位愿意对 1832 年第 6♥4♥期的

　上议院院报发表点评论的? Would anyone like to comment on the House of the Lords journal 有哪位愿意对 1832 年第 6♥4♥期的

　上议院院报发表点评论的? volume 6♥4♥, August 1832? 是啊

　我也不想 Yeah. Me, neither. 上帝

　这太枯燥了 God, this is boring. 各位

　把第 32 页撕了吧 Everybody rip out page 32. -先生?

　-你听到我说什么了 -Sir? -You heard me. 每个人都把第 32 页给撕了 Everybody rip out page 32. 都看过《死亡诗社》吧

　把 32 页撕了 You"ve seen Dead Poets Society. Rip out page 32. 快点

　如果你们不撕的话

　那么所有人都不及格 Come on, if you don"t rip out page 32, I"ll fail all of you. 太好了 Yes! 天

　这东西太老了

　跟石头一样难撕开

　God, these things are so old, they"re petrified. 知道该怎么做吗

　把这破东西仍窗户扔出去 You know what, just throw the whole damn thing out the window. 我想他有毛病 I think he"s plumb sauced, he is. 先生

　我不觉得把书扔掉是个好为意 Sir, I don"t think throwing books out is such a good idea. 当然是

　行动吧

　谢默斯 Yes, there you go, Seamus. 看

　每个人都照做吧 See, everybody do that, 把这些书送回到 19 世纪

　它们该呆的地方 and send these books back to the 1800s where they belong. -快点

　盖辛

　-不

　我不能 -Come on, Gethin. -No, I can"t. 你没听过"旧的进

　新的出"这个说法吗 Haven"t you ever heard of the expression "in with the old, out with the new"? 听过

　先生

　可我认为正确的说法应该是... Yes, sir. But I think the actual expression is... 正确的表述方式无关紧要

　盖辛 Oh, it doesn"t matter what the actual expression is, Gethin. 为什么在你该扔东西的时候还要思考呢 Why are you thinking when you should be throwing? 扔出你的课本 Ejaculate your book. 对啊

　盖辛

　你会适应的 Yeah, go on, Gethie. Get over it. 快扔吧

　英国佬 Give it a throw, limey. 来吧

　盖辛

　把 20 年来的压抑统统扔出窗口 Come on, Gethin. Expunge 20 years of oppression out the window. 巴达兰达巴先生

　可以到走廊来吗? Mr. Badalandabad, might I see you out in the hall? 当然 Certainly. 容我告退

　同学们 Excuse me, class. 我不在的时候你们为什么

　不先看看第二章呢 Why don"t you all read chapter two while I"m gone? 我们已经没有课本了 But we haven"t got any books.

　你疯了吗? Have you gone completely and utterly mad? 我不知道你在库立吆大学是怎么做事的 I don"t know how you did things at Coolidge College. -你调查过我?

　-没错

　坦白说

　我很担心 -You"ve been checking on me. -Yes. And, frankly, I"m concerned. 作为你的监督员

　职责所在我必须确定... And as your supervisor, it"s my job to make sure that there"s... 等等

　等等

　你是我的监督员? Wait, wait, wait. You"re my supervisor? 噢我...我想说

　我非常高兴能在你下面 Well, I... Let me just say then that I am so enthused to be under you. 我要说的是我非常兴奋... What I mean is that I"m extremely hard. 兴奋得难以表达. Hard pressed to... 巴达兰达巴先生

　你要怎么 Mr. Badalandabad, it really doesn"t even matter 看我或者是那些课本都没有关系 what you think of me or of the textbooks. 因为

　如果你想要在这所大学拿到

　博士学位的话 Because if you wish to receive your doctorate from this university, 你必须得跟仍规定 you"ll have to follow the rules set forth by... 哪一位规定的? By men who what? 穿着运动短裤和吇袜带

　已经逝世几十年的家伙? Who wore funny boxer shorts and garter belts and died decades ago? 仍未看过人类登上月球 Who never saw a man walk on the moon or 或者仍来

　没有用 MP3 听过

　Lil Kim(美饶舌歌♥手) listened to Lil" Kim on an MP3 player 或是在因特网上看过互舔小♥穴♥三人组? or watched muff to muff triple penetration cooch munching on the internet? 那些有什么关系? What does that have to do with anything? 好的好的

　可能有点过分了

　我道歉 Okay. Maybe, that was a bit much. I"m sorry. 可我想说的是

　希金森小姐 But my point, Miss Higginson, 条条大路通罗马

　is that there is more than one way to skin a mongoose. 历史并不仅仅是那些日期和古文 History can be about so much more than random dates and ancient artifacts. 它可以教会我们体察自身 It can teach us about ourselves. 发现我们自己的缺点

　我们的希望

　甚至我们的梦想 About our flaws, our hopes, even our dreams. 我要说的

　巴达兰达巴先生 And all I"m saying, Mr. Badalandabad, 则是

　在这所大学里面

　只有一条路可走 is that at this university, there"s only one way to skin a mongoose. 就是我的这条 And it"s my way. 再见 Good day. 女士们

　先生们 Ladies and gentlemen, 欢迎到哈斯廷杯的第一场赛事来 welcome to the opening event of seven competitions 哈斯廷杯将举♥行♥七场比赛

　在五个兄弟会馆之间进行 between our five fraternal houses for the Hastings Cup. 他们块真够大的 They"re bleeding huge. 好啦

　你们

　这是羽毛球

　...

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